I WAS ME, BUT NOW HE'S GONE

naybrhoodthrill @ 2005-09-13T23:38:00

2005-09-14T03:45:21Z

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart."

One of my oldest friends died today. My dog Buster. More than a simple pet, like a member of the family he was. He's been here since we moved to this house 12 years ago. And when I had no one here and had no one to hang out with those first few months it was Buster who was there for me. We would go swimming in the pond and run thorugh the woods. Man it was great for both of us to be so young. Time passed and age caught up to us. It was hard to see you that way these last few months and especially these last few days. I only wish I was there for you more these last couple of years.

I'm never going to forget you Buster and I thank you for being such a great friend. You brought our family so much joy with your crazy antics and you were so protectful of us. Now you can rest Buster your work is done.

Rest well my friend

Dear Master

I explained to Saint Peter
I 'd rather stay here
Outside the pearly gates
I wont be a nusiance,
I won't even bark,
I'll be very patient and wait.
I'll be here,chewing on a celestial bone,
No matter how long you may be
I'd miss you so much
If I went in alone
It wouldn't be heaven for me.

Summer's End

2005-08-20T03:34:58Z

"If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change"

For me the last few weeks of summer suck. The fun is nearly over when it seems like it has just begun. Another summer has come and gone. Things have changed so much, yet alot is the same. Now, it is a far cry from when the summer began. Weeks can go by without seeing those we saw everynight. There are many friends of ours we barely get to see. But hey, I guess thats just the way it is. I never thought growing up meant growing apart.

Well the wedding I went to was an absolute blast. I had a great time partying with my family. After the reception it only got better. I can't wait for my cousin Kims' wedding at the end of September. Another fun filled night.

Only a few more weeks until Michigan Football. Thats when things get really good. 21 in three more months. We're planing on going down to Louisville, Kentucky after I turn 21 to visit my cousin. And oh yeah hit up a couple of bars. Labor day weekend at Kurts cabin hopefully. Should be the last hurrah of the summer.

"We did not change as we grew older, we just became more clearly ourselves."

Fuck the subject

2005-07-11T04:43:51Z

Well, have'nt updated in awhile. I hate the spurs. Can't wait for football. Umm, kind of redundant huh? Went up north for the weekend, good times. Anything else??? Hmmm........

O yeah, my being an asshole has finally payed off. A hot girl from work likes me and its not because I'm nice. Man that was so boring, I just wish I would have started acting this way long ago. Anyways she is beautiful. Not only that she is the funniest and most interesting girl I know. She will be really cool to hang out with and what happens from there........ Well I dont want to screw things up or jinks myself but I feel pretty good about the situation. If not, piss on it, there are plenty of other girls, but I want this one.

I might get a tattoo this week. We'll see, I have'nt decided yet. The next few weeks are going to go by quick. I cant wait for the reunion and the wedding in Ohio. I get really drunk down there and have a good time. Speaking of good times I wonder if I'll see her down there. I only knew her briefly but to this day I still think about her every now and then.

I'll keep you guys updated.

.............................................

2005-06-24T15:46:17Z

What now?? Where do we go?? I'll miss the games over Sammy's house with everybody. I'll miss the anticipation of game day. I'll miss the joy of victory, the joy of a miracle play that defys explaination and all you can do is stand up and cheer.

I won't miss the agony of defeat. I won't miss Tony Parkers ugly gremlin ass. I won't miss faggot ass Ginobli and his 3 foot nose. I won't miss the cracked out looking Will Smith Robert Horry and his retarted ass Three's. I won't miss fundamentals Tim Duncan.

At least we made a series of it. It did'nt seem that way after we lost the first two. We don't go down like chumps. We did go down like champs. Thanks for the memories Pistons.

Now I got to find something to do until Michigan Football. Na, jk, I got a busy and fun filled summer ahead of me.

Talking about cars and dreaming about women

2005-06-02T16:18:26Z

Wow the last two days have been like really cool and nothing exciting has really happened. Hmm... what an interesting paradox. Tuesday I saw my little brother Kyle's baseball game. Man that kid is going to be one hell of an athlete one day. I tought him everything he knows.

Then the Pistons won big on Tuesday night. Fuck Yeah. Go Pistons. The stupid thing is they should have and could have won games 2 and 3. They had the lead in both fucking games in the fourth quarter. Idiots. O well it was quite a win, good job guys. Let's get them tonight.

Yesterday at work there was yet again a new hot girl working there. But, this one was different. I don't know what it was but for some reason I can't get her out of my head. I only talked to her breifly, I was pretty busy yesterday but she is very beautiful. She has medium-long blonde hair and is tall. Like an inch taller than me. (I know I said in my myspace profile I would'nt want a girl who could dunk on me but I might have to make an exception for her) Her name is Hanna, maybe she is a Scandinavian?? Those girls are pretty tall. Anyways work is still getting better and better.

Last night after work I want over to sammy's house. That was pretty cool we all hung out until like midnight. Then I ended up talking to robbie for like an hour afterwards. The only reason that is a big deal is because if I would have just went home I would have made it without getting pulled over. Haha, I forgot to turn on my lights and there was cop at the library. So he pulls me over and he was pretty cool and funny but he still had a job So he asked me if I had anything to drink and like a dumb ass I said no and then asked me to do some sobriety tests. I had to say my ABC's without singing them, then I had to count from 17 to 37 and down from 37 to 17. Then he asks me to sit in the back of the police car and if I'll take a breathilizer. So I say yes and then I admit to him I drank two beers. He was kind of upset, I apoligized profusely for lying to him and took the test. Lets just say I passed the sobriety tests but not the breathilzer test. I honest to god had two beers but I blew a .07 I couldnt believe that. He asked me where I lived and by this point two more cops showed up and they all recognized me. So for kicks they made me do more sobriety tests. They were the walk the line, stand on one foot and jump, which was new to me but then they told me they were just messing with me and that they were going to let me go anyways they just wanted to have fun with me. LOL, it was pretty funny cause the whole time the two male cops and Nicky were cracking jokes on me. So they let me go on my way. LOL what a way to top off the last two days.

SUMMER TIME

2005-05-31T17:20:27Z

Thank god summer is finally here. This summer is going to be a blast. I'm going to cedar ponit like 3 times I think. Of course there is the 4th of July up at the Szlocht...O forget it, Kurts familys' cottage. That is always a blast. There are a couple graduation parties to go to. I got a family reunion at the end of July in Ohio on Lake Erie. A wedding the weekend of August 13 in Ohio. My family is getting a cottage for a week sometime this summer. I'll be up there for a couple days then me and my brothers will have the house to ourselves for a couple of days of partying. One of those days will be my big party of the summer. I know I'm forgetting something big. O well it will come to me. Of course there will be smaller everday things like bonfires and going out to places which will be cool. We are also going to meet new and exciting girls. Whoop Whoop.

????

2005-05-20T18:18:12Z

Revenge of the Sith was incredible. I can't believe it has already came and gone, but the movie has been all I've been thinking about since I saw it. What a profound story.

The weather is good today and warm. A first time in awhile it seems. I think I might have some people over and have a bonfire. That would be fun.

It has come. It is great. I don't care anymore.

can't wait

2005-05-17T04:30:09Z

O man this summer is shaping up to kick ass. I don't want to jenks it or anything but some reason I got a good feeling about it. We got some cool things planned. My party kind of blew because of the rain but some cool people showed up and stayed pretty late too. I can't wait until Thursday. Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith premires. I've been waiting for this day for many years now. Tomorrow I'm going bowling and hopefully there will be some good looking girls up there.

What a short entry and I didnt even add any smart ass remarks or jokes. O well.

WORK IS FUN, SO ARE THE WOMEN

2005-05-09T02:56:45Z

O man I have'nt updated this retarted thing in awhile because I spend my online time between Myspace and Asian Lesbian porn. Anyways I finally got a job. A real one that pays money and everything. Oh my goodness there are some absolutely gorgeous women who work there. There literally is a new hot chick there each day I work. This should be a fun summer working with some of them.

Saturday night was an absolute blast at Sammy's house. Have'nt been that drunk in awhile. Then I had to work at 9 so I got like 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Hell I was still drunk when I went into work.

Friday there is a big party at my house. Friday the 13th of all days. Hopefully some guy in a hockey mask does'nt come murder us all.

Until next time children

time goes by....

2005-03-26T23:27:29Z

Man time is going by really fast. I can't believe its almost April already, it seems like only yesterday was New Years. The last two weeks have been pretty cool. Working out just about everyday and starting to notice and feel results. Can't wait to show off my progress this summer. Be patient ladies.

Other that that I've been hanging out with Kurt, Kenny, and Robbie alot lately. I applied for a couple posistions this past week and expect to hear from them this week. Well I'm going to keep on working out and looking for work in the meantime. I can't wait until this summer. I got a good feeling its going to be great, you know it is Kenny. I'm going to the hayloft tonight that should be fun.

"We're going to show this world a thing or two."

Sore...

2005-03-04T07:13:24Z

Man I've never been so sore from working out before. But this is a good pain. Going to the gym everyday the last couple days feels good. It feels good to know your doing something healty with yourself. Speaking of healthy I quit smoking. Again.

OK, so on to my incredible week. Now if it becomes to exciting for you I'll understand if you can't finish.

Tuesday me and Kenny went to the gym and signed up with Bally's Total Fitness. Worked out for a little bit then went home. Went tanning later that day and then bowling. Bowling was a blast. It was cool to hang out with Schimitty, and Joel, Joe and Kurt were there too.

Wendsday me and Kenny went to the gym. We did cardio and legs. Legs are retarted. Mine still hurt. I could'nt believe how many hot chicks are there. Then again there are some whales as well. But good for thim to work out to try to better themselves. There are some major fine women though, as long as I don't stare for to long things should be alright. I even caught some checking me out though. I mean checking out the opposite sex, how unnatural and creepy.(just having some fun, calm down)

Thursday we worked out with a personal trainer. He's a pretty cool guy, and the first guy I ever met named Ned. He said we would be hurting by the end of the day and boy was he right. So yeah that about concludes it. Exciting I know. I'm having a good time though getting back in shape. Friday I'm going to see Be Cool and saturday I'm going to Canada.

naybrhoodthrill @ 2005-02-28T01:08:00

2005-02-28T06:22:39Z

Its amazing how fast things can change in your life. One day everything is going great and the next your world falls down around you. Don't worry though I'll put a new and better one up. Its not like me to sit around and be negative anyways. I just wish I knew it was coming so I could've enjoyed the last few days of our friendship I had with her. Sometimes you take things for granted and believe that they'll last forever.

Anyways Friday I started tanning at Palm Beach. The girl working there was hot, but I already probably screwed up by making myself look stupid. I could'nt figure out how to operate the tanning bed(maybe because I just died my hair blonde) so she had to come in and show me. Friday night I talked to Stacy for a good two hours. That made my night alot better. Thursady night I talked to Genna until about 3 in the morning on AIM. My night was made better by her kind words. They both helped me out alot and help put things in perspective.

Sunday night I went to movies with Joel and Kurt. We went and saw Cursed. WOW, they decided they did'nt want to see a comedy but thats what we got from Cursed. Kenny's coming back into town tomorrow and I'm going to pick him up from the airport. Me and him are going to start working out at a gym so we can be buff and sexy by the time summer starts. Well, buffer and sexier. Hopefully he gets moved to days so we can start hanging out at night. I also have got to find a job this week. No I'm not joking.

I would like to thank all of those who have been here for me the last couple days. I'm looking forward to the future. When it seems all is lost, look harder, because now there is more to gain.

Entry #5

2004-12-18T23:36:17Z

"Hurt"

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

It's been awile, but I don't care I still think this live journal is kind of gay. But damnit Jessy was right(I know there's a first for everything, don't let it get to your head Jess)it does kind of grow on you.

Charity sucks. Me and my brothers spent 7 hours this morning and afternoon decorating a church in Detroit. The stupid old guys yelled at us when we sat down to take a break. Mean Ol' Bastards. On the way to church some big black guy told me "You better slow yo ass down" because I cut him off, but he made a right turn in front of me and I had apply to much pressure to the brakes to avoid contact.

Christmas is in a week in case you've been under a rock the last 5 weeks. Xbox is on the way I can't wait. I might be getting a job with Kenny and his dad. Alot of hours, but, also alot of money to be had.

" I was me but now he's gone."

The Weirdest Dream I Ever Had

2004-12-02T22:52:02Z

"So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters "

I will not go into detail of the dream but it was scary, sad and it hurt. It was also the most realistic dream I've ever had. We all think about what our lives would be like if we had made some decisions differently, well last night I had that life play out for me very vividly.

The thing is in this alternate reality dream world I was happier than I've ever been. I'm pretty happy with the way things are now but this was the happiness you rarely feel, you feel it when every possible thing is going right or how you want it to go. I had that feeling in this dream and I had the chance to make those decisions in real life but I did'nt choose them.

I woke up and started thinking has the last few years been a big mistake?
The cruelest dream is reality.

Entry #3

2004-11-26T20:39:42Z

Happy Late Thanksgiving everyone!!

Yesterday on a scale of 1-10 it was a 7. Watching the parade on TV +1. The Lions getting spanked -1.
Thanksgiving Dinner at my uncle's house and seeing cousin's I have'nt seen in a while +2. Bad Mashed Potatoes -1. A Coors Light to wash it down +1. Whiping some ass at Mario Cart +1. Shopping with Jessy -2.
Seeing Jessy's thong and cheeks when she would squat down to get something while shopping +3. Eating another thanksgiving dinner at Kenny's house +2. Raisins' in the stuffing -1. Driving Jessy home before I got to play euchre -1. Jessy giving me a BJ on the way home +100000. Realizing it was a fantasy -100000. Grabing Jessy's ass when I hugged her +1. Me and sam's cousin Matt beating Noah and Kenny in euchre +1. Having a beer after the game +1. The beer being a Busch -1. Going home and going to bed +2.

Entry #2

2004-11-24T21:22:45Z

Some people sure do have some nerve. I mean you call them and try to talk to them and they ignore you for a stupid Vanity Fair article. What A Bitch. Its not like that fucking article is going anywhere. I think I will smack her when I see her next. In fact I will smack her on the ass.

Livejournal is pretty stupid. Thanksgiving is tommorrow and the stupid ass lions better win tommorrow. I can't wait to eat, it will probably be the first time I've eaten anything good in a few days as my house seems to be experincing a famine. My stomach is bloating from starvation.

Alexender comes out today and I'm going to see it. I love war epics. Alexender the Great was probably the greatest general in history since he conquered the known world at the time.

On a sad note I don't know if I'll be wearing my Coors Light shirt anymore. I was brosing around the Coors Light website and it turns out there merging with Molson Canadian. What a bunch of sellouts merging with those stupid ass Canadians. Wait, on second tought if they team up with them then they got a better shot at taking out Bud and Miller. HA, one day Coors Light will rule supreme.

"Tap the Rockies"

Entry # 1

2004-11-24T01:54:51Z

Tonight I have the great privledge of hanging out with two lovely young ladies, Aubrey and Kenny's mom, I mean Jessy. I have a big penis. I found out my good bud, Keeeennnn, is leaving exactly one week from today, Tuesday November 30th. I'm going to kill everyone in Ohio except for my family and Jennifer because Ohio State beat Michigan. Um...Saturday night I went to the gentlemens club for my birthday. I got a free lap dance from this beautiful latino girl. She had big nipples. Um...I am too busy talking to Aubrey now so I am going to end this journal entry.

I would like to thank the beautiful Jessy for typing this entry as I spoke it to her.